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On Fri, 9 May 1997, F T Selase wrote:
>
> * Dehai-Workshop: Geothermal Energy...by.. Prof. Embaie, May 15 - 31 *
> * To subcribe, send mail to: majordomo@primenet.com with the following text *
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>
>
> I got this joke from a friend and find it to be really funny. I hope you
> would like it too.
>
>
> > Do You Have Two Cows?
> > -----------------------------------
> >
> > FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.
> >
> > PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts
> > them
> > in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the
> > cows.
> > The government gives you as much milk as you need.
> >
> > BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and
> > puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-
> > chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government
> > took
> > from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as
> > many
> > eggs as the regulations say you should need.
> >
> > FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take
> > care of them, and sells you the milk.
> >
> > PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of
> > them
> > , and you all share the milk.
> >
> > RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but
> > the
> > government takes all the milk.
> >
> > DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots
> > you.
> >
> > SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government fines you for
> > keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.
> >
> > MILITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts
> > you.
> >
> > PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the
> > milk.
> >
> > REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone
> > to
> > tell you who gets the milk.
> >
> > AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you
> > vote
> > for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in
> > cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".
> >
> > BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You feed them sheeps' brains and
> > they
> > go mad. The government doesn't do anything.
> >
> > BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what
> > you
> > can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk
> > them.
> > After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk
> > down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the
> > missing cows.
> >
> > ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or
> > your
> > neighbors try to kill you and take the cows.
> >
> > CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
> >
> > HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your
> > publicly - listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother
> > -
> > in - - law at the bank, then execute a debt / equity swap with associated
> > general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction
> > for
> > keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a
> > Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the
> > majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back
> > to
> > the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight
> > cows,
> > with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the
> > fung shui is bad.
> >
> > ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking
> > or
> > killing them.
> >
> > FEMINISM: You have two cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf.
> >
> > TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies
> > they ever existed. Milk is banned.
> >
> > POLITICAL CORRECTNESS: You are associated with (the concept of
> > "ownership"
> > is a symbol of the phallo - centric, war - mongering, intolerant past)
> > two
> > differently - aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non -
> > specified gender.
> >
> > COUNTER CULTURE: Wow, dude, there's like... these two cows, man. You got
> > to
> > have some of this milk.
> >
> > SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
> > harmonica lessons.
>
> --
>
> == Matthew Simmonds =================================================
> | Matthew@Avnet.co.uk
> ___ | Little Orchard
> | | Barnet Lane
> ______(*)______ | Elstree, Herts, WD6 3QX
> o/ o \o | United Kingdom
> | Tel 0181 207 1232
> =====================================================================
>
>
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