Dear Mike,
Putting in a note that says "no offense" does not work. We can all see it
is a joke. But the concept of "joke" has already been discussed on Dehai in
a very sensible way. Nonetheless, I guess it was wrongly assumed by many of
us that the matter of telling sexist and/or racist/ethnic jokes was settled.
I am new to the Dehai (and have remained silent except that I will be giving
a workshop soon on Eritrean women after the struggle), and do not want to
offend anyone, especially since I am a non-Eritrean (although I have
Eritrean-American daughters). I feel as if I am a visitor. But, Mike,
really. Please deconstruct your joke. See what it really says about women;
see if it applies to many of the women in your life--really. See if it
applies to the men in your life. See if the same behavior in men is given a
different name/expression. See if the same behavior is differently valued
in the society--any society. Ask yourself if it would not be better to talk
about "humans" being very complex. Positive stereotypes are just as
potentially damaging as negative ones; just ask Asians and Asian Americans
about that. There is too much to go into here. Try, Mike, if you want to
think about complexity, to think of the women fighters of the EPLF and ELF.
And if you are trying to say that women are "wonderful" (a rather sweeping
generalization, I would say), then perhaps your behavior could reflect that.
I truly hope that discussions on Dehai will be more respectful of women:
not degrading, not romanticizing, not aggrandizing, not trivializing. The
behavior of women worldwide is as varied as the behavior of men (which, I am
quick to point out, is not the same as saying women are exactly like
men...this is another discussion). That women's behavior and looks, etc.
become defined in particular ways that tends to trivialize and devalue women
and women's work are issues we might want to scrutinize. Thanks for
listening, Mike.
Sincerely,
Sondra Hale
Professor of Anthropology and Women's Studies
UCLA
>Return-Path: <owner-dehai@ftp1.primenet.com>
>Date: Wed, 5 Mar 1997 04:34:52 -0500 (EST)
>From: Mike <gs05mma@PANTHER.GSU.EDU>
>To: erythraeum <dehai@primenet.com>
>Subject: [DEHAI] Women Are Complex Creatures! (irc,mirc,sirc,mac)
>Sender: owner-dehai@ftp1.primenet.com
>Reply-To: Mike <gs05mma@PANTHER.GSU.EDU>
>
>
>**** To contact Dehai-Admin, send mail to: dehai@universe.digex.net ****
>
>This supposed to be a joke no offence at all
>* Nobody is free when others are oppressed "
>* We are all different otherwise we would have been the same
>Cc: Michael Asmerom <gs05mma@panther.Gsu.EDU>
>
>>>> ==============================
>>>> WOMEN ARE COMPLEX CREATURES
>>>> ==============================
>>>>
>>>>If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
>>>>If you don't, you are not a man
>>>>
>>>>If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
>>>>If you don't, you are good for nothing
>>>>
>>>>If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
>>>>If you don't, you are not understanding
>>>>
>>>>If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring
>>>>If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing
>>>>
>>>>If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
>>>>If you don't, you are a dull boy
>>>>
>>>>If you are jealous, she says it's bad
>>>>If you don't, she thinks you do not love her
>>>>
>>>>If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her
>>>>If you don't, she thinks you do not like her
>>>>
>>>>If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait
>>>>If she is late, she says that's a girl's way
>>>>
>>>>If you visit another man, you're not putting in "quality time"
>>>>If she is visited by another woman, "oh it's natural, we are girls"
>>>>
>>>>If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
>>>>If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage
>>>>
>>>>If you fail to help her in crossing the street, you lack ethics
>>>>If you do, she thinks it's just one of men's tactics for seduction
>>>>
>>>>If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
>>>>If she is stared by other men, she says that they are just admiring
>>>>
>>>>If you talk, she wants you to listen
>>>>If you listen, she wants you to talk
>>>>
>>>>In short:
>>>>
>>>>So simple, yet so complex
>>>>So weak, yet so powerful
>>>>So confusing, yet so desirable
>>>>So damning, yet so wonderful...
>>>>
>>>> ....WOMEN!....Sigh!
>>>
>
>
>
>>>felega
>>>I hope single woman in deahi will agree with this 100%
>>>if not let me say this !
>>>" turn your light low and see you in irc (Internte raly chat)
>>>This message for you girl I was never on time still i want to get you
>>>girl, on time, I want to give you some .... and some good.
>>>I want to give you some love , and I want you to know "
>>>Bob Marley
>>>:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
>
>
>** To UNSUBSCRIBE from dehai, send mail to: majordomo@primenet.com **
>** with the following text in the body of your mail: **
>** unsubscribe dehai your-email-address **
>
>
** To UNSUBSCRIBE from dehai, send mail to: majordomo@primenet.com **
** with the following text in the body of your mail: **
** unsubscribe dehai your-email-address **